oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
