The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...