yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!