Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.