im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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