You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
