We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
