I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
