i may or may not be watching the land before time
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!