Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You're a waste of cheezeits
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together