I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.