Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants