dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
