I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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