If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She's the barista slut.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
