I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
