Soap is not a condiment
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
