If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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