Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
