we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
