yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
