There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
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I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
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Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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