Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
