In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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