so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
