I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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