i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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