i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
