At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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