i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
