She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
