My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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