Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
