When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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