Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
