Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
