Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
