If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
