i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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