You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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