I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
