I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
