garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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