i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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