Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
