do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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