I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
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Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
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The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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