I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
bring money and cleavage
No subtext here. People are naked.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
