shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
vagina is talking i cant
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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