Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
