this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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