chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
