I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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