Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
