I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
