ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
