Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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