DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
