Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
