and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
