i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
