As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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