Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
