Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
