wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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