dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
