Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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