Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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