I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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