you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
