Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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