you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
