so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
