no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I miss vodka workout Fridays
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Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
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Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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