Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
